Switch

Didn't do a Quest post last week, so here's just a brief rundown of my sci-fi/fantasy viewing in the last fortnight:

Doctor Who ended on an episode which wasn't Moffat's best but was still great; Merlin came back with an excellent 2-parter that was marred only by some dodgy CGI and a certain character surviving seemingly mortal injury yet again when it's as clear as day that she should have been  killed off ages ago; I finished off the commentaries for the first half of Caprica and moved on to the episodes from the second half; Wolfblood continued to be top shizz; and The Vampire Diaries came back for a fourth season of 'this person is dead, oh no they aren't, actually they might be, but they might not, no they're someone else who's pretending to be the ghost of the first person but is really a hybrid of the second person and a third person's goldfish, but no, hang on, no-one can die after all, unless it's a Tuesday and they have a hole in their jeans and a G in their name, because of the magic jellyfish.'

Oh, and some witches had a good laugh about raping a guy.

I didn't have high expectations going in to Switch. Everything about it screamed low rent Charmed rip-off. Just think about that for a second. Exactly. What I didn't expect was that it would not only be a charisma free bore-a-thon, but that it would also be a moral vacuum.

First things first, they killed a cat; by accident; and brought it back to life. I don't have a problem with that seeing as how messing with the veil is a staple of supernatural drama; and given that the show was trailed with a heavy emphasis on quirk and comedy I wasn't exactly expecting Pet Semetary; but some consequences would have been nice. Instead it was just a stepping stone to the next crisis, which was equally pointless. And resolved in a manner so predictable you wanted to slap them for taking an entire episode to figure it out. Imbeciles.

Boring and predictable do not amount to the same thing as 'moral vacuum' though. No, that's where the other main plot line comes in. One of the lead characters; I don't know their names yet, don't hate me; works in a shop with two men. One of them is her friend, and gay (which will be important later) while the other is a new guy that both she and her (shockingly camp) gay friend fancy. He shows zero sign of making a move on either of them though, so rather than do the obvious thing of perhaps asking him out, she goes home and recruits her friends to put a spell on a piece of jewelery so that he would be hopelessly attracted to the person wearing it.

Now, seminal Buffy episode Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (and the other 978 'don't mess with love' cautionary tales) have taught us that this will go wrong. She's doing it anyway though. Not a one of her friends objects, which is moment the first of making this whole cast seem like conscienceless monsters.

She meets up with him and as soon as he sees the brooch he's kissing her face off. Then it;s off home for lots of noisy sex. Anyone see the problem here? It's Torchwood's 'Owen and the pheromone spray' all over again. She essentially roofied him. It's rape. Which her flatmates respond to with wry smiles. Moment the second.

Now, if this was heading down a 'there will be repercussions' route I could tolerate it. So I kept watching, waiting for the shoe to drop, waiting for the moment of redemption.

 I thought we were going to get it when she met up with him in a club and he started showing slightly creepy signs of potential stalker-itis. Was she going to face the consequences? No, it turns out that's just what these writers think romance sounds like.

Then he tells her that she's changed his life, because 'I used to think I was gay, before I met you.' This obviously means that she can no longer see him, because apparently having a witless sex slave is no fun if that person would choose a different gender, if given the choice. Remember, she doesn't want out because she realises what she has done is creepy and wrong; she wants out because, well, she's a shallow person with very warped priorities.

The cast of Switch

Back at the flat, the coven get a lecture from a slumming Caroline Quentin, who is the mother of, er, one of them, and is disappointed in their skill levels. Desperate to impress her, they blurt out that they have raised the dead (the cat) and done the love enchantment. Oops, silly girls, that's dangerous magic that goes against the natural order and not to mention is fucking rape; talking about the 'love' enchantment there, not the cat. Quentin, far from being impressed, goes absolutely batshit mental with them, and tears them a new... No, actually, she's well impressed and starts having orgasms at the thought of the bragging rights she'll have at the next solstice. Moment the third.

After that some things happened and the various plots kind of meandered to their predictable ends and she figured out the way to get out of seeing her gay slave anymore. She gave the brooch to her gay friend. Yep. So now, the guy she coerced into bed is full on into her mate, and though we don't see it, we can probably surmise that some rampant animal sex is going on between the two of them as we speak. With the victim still having no free will and the other guy, who isn't in the know about magic, having no clue that he's essentially been given a sex doll as a gift. Moment the fourth.

At not a single point does any character voice an objection, however mild, to the messing with his head. At no point does any character voice an objection, however mild, to the fact that he is having sex against his will. At no point does any character voice an objection, however mild, to the fact that he has been consigned to this life, seemingly indefinitely. But I guess it's ok though right? I mean, he's gay, and he's been made the sex slave of another  gay man, so he'd probably be ok with it, right?

This show was never meant to be a hardcore, full on drama. It is quite clearly intended to be a bit of lightweight romantic fun. I have no doubt that the writers would protest the rape allegations, as the writers of Torchwood did with the Owen character; but it changes nothing though. Whatever their intentions; and I'm willing to believe they were innocent; the whole exercise was woefully misguided, wrong-headed, and offensive.

Or was it just me?

See you next week. No idea what I'll be talking about, but you never know, it might be interesting.

Caprica

The art of the successful spin-off is a very tough nut to crack; for every Xena: Warrior Princess or Angel, there's a Lone Gunmen or Crusade. So it's a brave writer/producer who takes on the task; and a brave viewer who gets their hopes up.

 The risk; or the biggest among many; is that in attempting to create a success, the writer will steer a little too close to the original show; which, if it's getting a spin-off is presumably popular; on the basis that that's what the audience wants, so why not give them more of it? All you get when you do that though, is a watered down copy, giving the law of diminishing returns a head start.

Compare, for example, Star Trek: Voyager to Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. The latter took risks, daring to deviate from the formula devised in the original Star Trek, and honed by The Next Generation. As a result the writers managed to craft a compelling epic that is fondly remembered to this day by not just Trek fans, but most fans of good sci-fi. Voyager, on the other hand, was as close to a carbon copy of The Next Generation as the writers could get away with, and told warmed up stories, using warmed characters, to a barely lukewarm audience. To most of those that remember it today, it's a joke; a bland mess.

Stargate: Atlantis is another example. Successful enough in it's way; 5 seasons is a respectable run for any show not being compared to a parent show that ran for 10; it nevertheless failed to ever truly capture it's audiences hearts and minds the way Stargate:SG1 did. And the writers knew it, which was why they scrambled around for the whole five years, changing this and tweaking that and changing the cast every season, in a desperate attempt to find a dynamic that sparked even half as well, or had a fraction of the seemingly effortless chemistry, of the SG1 cast. They never did manage it.

Which is why they took a leaf out of Deep Space Nine's playbook, and threw out the rules with their next spin-off, Stargate: Universe. A move, ironically enough, that saw them ending up with a show very similar in premise to Voyager.

Sadly, although most would tell you that Universe was by far the better show, the damage was apparently done. Maybe audiences were put off by Atlantis, maybe they were turned off by the darker premise, or  perhaps they were just worn out on the Stargate concept and the franchise needed a rest; but whatever the reason, Universe didn't come close to the longevity of even the lesser of it's predecessors, quality be damned.

So if neither method is a guarantee of success, even when done well, what's a writer to do? There's no answer, except to say that they do what they think is best at the time. And in the case of the Battlestar Galactica writers, what they thought was best was to make a show so far removed from the aesthetic of Battlestar as to be almost unrecognisable. What they came up with, was Caprica.

Whilst Battlestar was the quintessential space opera with the bulk of it's action taking place aboard various ships, Caprica could, in a great many ways, pass as being set in a world that was a contemporary of our own. While budgetary constraints were obviously a factor in making the decision to go that route the justification; that even in futuristic scenarios not everyone would have access to all the latest mod cons; is a sound one. I know I'm still waiting for my first go on an ipad.

For the 2 of you who don't know, Caprica was a prequel to Galactica; in itself a further justification for the lower tech levels on show. I've gone on record in the past as having a deep dislike of prequels in general; and I stand by that assertion; but I've also gone on record as not liking remakes and these writers proved with Galactica that they can do those pretty bloody well, so I was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. But do they pull it off?

Yes and no. The show isn't a classic. Let's get that out of the way first. But it so easily could have been and, given the talent involved, probably should have been. It's problems are not due to it being a prequel, nor are they due to it failing to compare favourably with it's progenitor. In truth, the problems facing Caprica are almost entirely down to the writing staff taking far too long to get anywhere.

There isn't a duff scene in this show, but there are too many, and the plot takes forever to develop. It's bizarre that the writers; some of the absolute best in the business; didn't realise that they were strangling the show at birth with their increeeeeeeedibly slow pacing. As I say, take any scene in isolation, and you'll get goosebumps; take 7 scenes in succession, you'll get bored. And it's a crying shame.

The biggest problem, I think, is that there is simply no threat. The danger in Battlestar was all pervasive and ever present, whereas here you'd be pushed to say exactly who the villains even are. They do exist, they just aren't particularly scary, and it's not until very near the half way mark of the show's run that any kind of cohesive narrative starts to take shape, and the protagonist/antagonist dynamic is properly established.

Stoltz and Morales. Pure class.

But let us put aside our disappointment at yet another hotly anticipated show failing to set the world alight, and discuss the cast. Lead roles Daniel Graystone and Joseph Adams/Adama are played by Eric Stoltz and Esai Morales respectively, so I don't think I really need to say much on that score; those two are gold. The real stars here were among the young characters. (Note: I said young characters, not young cast members)

The emotional core of the show is of course Zoe Graystone, as played by Alessandra Torresani, but her best friend Lacy (Magda Apanowicz) will herself become just as pivotal a player once the storyline actually starts moving. Although both characters are played as teenagers, they are played by women in their mid 20's, which allows me to say phwoaaaarrr, with impunity.

*insert sexist comment about them being pretty*

Attractiveness aside though (and they are both very attractive), these two absolutely nail their parts. Without the ability of Torresani to scare the bejesus out of you one minute and break your heart the next the central conceit of the show would be dead in the water and Apanowicz, who has the lion's share of the derring do and dangerous activities plays a scared young girl getting in way over her head better than anyone you'll see. These two are keepers, for sure.

Sina Najafi. Future mega star

And then there's young Willie Adama. Just to show that I can appreciate a good performance beyond the ability of the actor to make me fancy them, Sina Najafi was a revelation. I don't know how old he is, but I can't imagine he's done much before this, yet he just owns the screen when he's on it, and his chemistry with the guy playing his uncle is spot on.

He's playing a young boy who finds himself all but abandoned when his father sinks into a depression following a family tragedy and is gradually drawn into the comforting embrace of the surrogate family provided by the local organised crime syndicate. It's astonishing to me that he can seem so equally at ease being the wide eyed kid in the candy store when doing kid stuff, yet effortlessly cynical and wiseguy-esque in the comfort of his gangland friends. This kid is going places, on that I would bet much in the way of money.

All in all, I honestly don't know whether I'd recommend Caprica or not. It has so much going for it, but those pacing issues just make it so difficult to fall in love with. I shall let you know when I've watched the 2nd half of the season. You never know, it could blow me away. Until next time, you lovely little oiks you.

I'm a fool to myself

This week, I was going to write a post all about how I'd started watching the 60's version of Dark Shadows, the soap opera that started life as a sort of Gothic Romance but only really took off in the ratings when it started introducing fantastical elements into it's plots, such as werewolves, vampires, ghosts and, apparently, parallel universes.

But then I had an idea, thought about the idea, discounted the idea, thought about the idea some more, and then decided that yes, it was a stupid idea but I was going to do it anyway, and this post became an announcement.

I have in recent weeks been enthusing on twitter about my new favourite blog, Moosh Watches Who, in which Lindsey Williams; or Pottermoosh as she is known online by the yoof who are, by and large, her target audience; watches Doctor Who from the very beginning, and gives her thoughts on it, an episode at a time. She is very funny, and I love her posts,so I kind of got inspired to try my hand at an episode by episode rundown of a long running show. Not in the style of the above blog of course, because that would require that I be, you know, funny. But still...

Yes, the man who can't update the 3 blogs he already has on anything even remotely resembling a regular schedule, has started a new one. Because he's a lunatic.

Of course, I won't be writing episode by episode breakdowns of Doctor Who, because that way lies plagiarism; given how good her stuff is I'm bound to copy it, even if unintentionally. No, I shall be doing it with, wait for it... old soap operas. Because if there's one thing that has come anywhere close to rivaling my sci-fi love in recent years, it's my new found love of old soaps.

Since I have just started watching Dark Shadows, and that will, in time, become a fantasy show, thus scratching two itches, as it were, that seemed a good place to start. I'll also be doing Prisoner: Cell Block H. I'll probably alternate the two shows, so as not to burn myself out on either.

So yes, I'm doing this. I'd like to think that it means I'll be more of a presence in your reading lists, but what it probably means is that I'll be writing exactly the same amount of stuff per week on an even more erratic schedule than before. So be it.

Wolf Blood

Despite regularly declaring myself resolutely pro children's drama, and jumping to their defence on more than one occasion, I have to confess that I didn't really make that much of an effort to keep up with what the current scene was like, preferring instead to track down shows from my own youth, or even earlier. I don't know why I thought modern children's drama would in all likelihood be rubbish, but I can't deny that that was my working hypothesis.

It wasn't until the arrival on the scene of The Sarah Jane Adventures that I once more dipped my toes into what the yoof were watching and, as I believe goes without saying at this point, I was wowed. This was a 'kids' show that wouldn't have disgraced itself in it's parent shows slot. In fact, during David Tennant's final year in the TARDIS, when we found ourselves limited to special episodes every few months in lieu of a new series of Doctor Who, I advocated running that years SJA as hour long episodes instead of 2-part half hours, and putting it in the vacant primetime slot, or at least a Sunday teatime (where I still believe a decent family adventure drama could thrive). Of course, that didn't happen, but the show was good enough, for long enough, that it's convinced me to show a little faith and trust in CBBC to get it right.

It was with this in mind that last week I settled down in front of the tellybox to watch the premiere episode of WolfBlood, the new half hour drama about werewolves.* And while I don't think I'm insulting anyone by saying it's not as accomplished as the aforementioned SJA, yet, it certainly did nothing to make me regret my decision.

Created by writer Debbie Moon; and as I type that I see the Moon/Werewolf thing for the first time because I'm a total dunce; the series sees teenage girl Maddy attempting to live a normal life whilst hiding from her friends and teachers that she, and her parents, are Wolf Bloods. The task becomes even harder when new boy at school Rhydian turns out to be a Wolf Blood too, but one without a pack whose upbringing in the foster system has left him woefully unprepared to deal with his heritage.

Maddy and Rhydian

 That's pretty much all you need to know to enjoy the series, and in truth it 'is' very enjoyable. The leads, Aimee Kelly (Maddy) and Bobby Lockwood (Rhydian) both have charisma to spare and an easy chemistry with each other which really sells the unique bond between the characters. There are a couple of weak links among the supporting cast of friends and school bullies, but it would be churlish to name names; they're only young, after all, and there are flashes of brilliance from each that hint at great things once they find their groove.

Aimee Kelly

 I'll admit that I found some of the 'moral of the week' writing in episode 3 a touch too on the nose, but that's a minor complaint, and once the supernatural elements came back to the fore the show started to fly again. I hope the difficult childhood/emotional problems/ dealing with adolescence stories continue; and let's face it, they will; but hopefully they'll find a way to more seamlessly blend them with the fantasy. Once they get that balance right, I predict something a bit special from them.

Bobby Lockwood

  So far the story has been very much focused on Rhydian learning to fit in, and Maddy's burgeoning powers (the puberty/virginity parallels here are obvious, but downplayed to better suit the sensibilities of it's broadcaster), but at time of writing I've only seen 4 episodes and there's a lot still to come. I think we'll almost certainly see at least one of Maddy's friends discover the truth; the identity of the mysterious Wild Wolf Blood roaming the woods will be revealed (my money is on it being one of Rhydians birth parents, or the school teacher, although the latter would require some explanation as to how none of the other Wolves can smell him, so I may be talking rubbish there); and if we don't see another supernatural race (probably vampires but I'd rather it not be) then I'll be very surprised.

All told, the show is another impressive notch on CBBC's belt and a credit to Moon and her fellow writers. It's not easy to put a fresh spin on such a familiar concept, but they've done it. I'm begging though, no romance for Maddy and Rhydian. Please.

*The show goes to great pains in-story, to stress that they aren't werewolves at all, but rather 'Wolf Bloods'; werewolf carrying a 'monster' stigma. Fair enough. But even if you accept that werewolf=monster; and I think Buffy, and others including current show Teen Wolf by all accounts, have proved that stereotype doesn't always need to be applied; the fact is that whatever you call them in-story, you want kids (and, er, sad cases like me) to be raving about 'that cool new werewolf thing.'

I couldn't think of a title for this. So I'm going with 'Ballbag'

Brace yourselves. It's a long 'un.

Now I'm sure we all know that Flash Gordon pre-dates the Queen singing, James Bond indulging his Robin Hood fetish, Blackadder's Dad cosplaying as Katar Hol, 80's movie. Don't we? Of course we do.

Adam Strange? Pussy! Superman? Mommies Boy!

We know about the original comic strips; we know about the Buster Crabbe movie serials; some of us may even know about the series of novels from the 70's, (I've read 'em, they aren't very good) and 80's (I've not read 'em, they could be aces for all I know). But did you know about the 1954 TV show starring Steve Holland? Because for some bizarre reason, I didn't. Shocking, I know.

Not now Flash my dear. Ming is busy.

I only found out about said TV show when I was messing about googling Flash whilst in the midst of watching movie serial Flash Gordon Conquers The Universe (or Flash Gordon: Space Soldiers Conquer The Universe, or Flash Gordon 3: Foxy Spy Ladies Of Mongo), which I picked up dirt cheap in a DVD discount store.  As so often seems to happen, watching one thing leads to the discovery of something else and I end up further behind than when I started. Well, not really further behind; the shows already existed; but it seems like that because I know these shows exist now.

Case in point; I plan in the very near future to get back to the 90's X-Men animated series, which I am roughly half way through watching. A quick search to update my episode checklists leads me down the link trail to Wolverine and the X-Men. Fair enough, I knew that show existed and had planned to tack it's relatively small episode count on to the end of X-Men. What I didn't know, and what I was about to find out, was that their was a 12 episode Wolverine anime. Something else to add to the list.

Hugh Jackman he aint

This is an all too common scenario, and one which can always be relied upon to batter my head whenever I get complacent. I mean, how many Spider-Man cartoons have their been? Searching for the Conan cartoon reveals a live action Conan series; which it turns out I knew about at one point because I have a full episode list printed off; no memory of it though. And of course there's the time you're reading an article about Children of the Stones and it mentions in passing something called Timeslip.

Timeslip. I know what he was up to. Cheeky blighter.

Even just having a wander in HMV can be a nightmare, as shelf after shelf after shelf is filled with shows that, once I become aware of their existence I become overwhelmed with a mad urge to watch them. Many of them will fester in the back of my brain for a few months, causing untold mental anguish, before gradually fading from my mind. Not because I've become less obsessive, but simply because another new thing has just popped up on a google search for He-Man.

Then there are the times you're flicking idly through Smallville reviews on a comic website and you're suddenly confronted by talk of this:

How had I never heard of that? Christos!

What you may be taking away from this post is that I am not the most educated of men when it comes to television science fiction. I profess to be going to watch everything but I don't really know what everything is. Rest assured though, that as soon as something comes to my attention, it's on the list. It just takes me longer to get around to some shows than others.

Let's take Life on Mars and Being Human, for example. Both have spawned US remakes, and neither of said remakes have crossed my oculars as of yet. Partly for reasons of time and partly because the originals were; and in the case of Being Human, still is; in production. (I'm counting Ashes to Ashes here. Gene is Gene.) I didn't fancy the confusion.

And then there are the shows that just look, or are reviewed as being,so shit that I have no real inclination to watch. It happened with The Net, but I eventually got around to watching that. And it happened with...du du du duuurrr... the 2007 series of Flash Gordon, starring Whitney Fordman, Shady Double Agent Lady From Mutant X, and your Dad's accountant. That one I haven't touched yet. One day though. One day.

Flash Gordon. Apparently

I hope you're all very impressed by the way I brought this here post; which you all thought was rambling aimlessly with no destination in sight, admit it; full circle and back to The Flasher. It's my way of pretending I know how to structure a piece of writing. (Which I don't. I'd have been useless at uni. Essays be damned!)

Anyway, proof positive that The Quest really is impossible. But it's not gonna stop me from plugging away regardless, with not a care for my sanity, or your boredom thresholds. Until next time.